Why I Only Keep a Small Circle of Friends
July 23, 2016
I was facebook-ing yesterday and came across a post by one of my friends which says:" Less friends, less b*llshit. Keep your circle small."
If only I could hit a million likes for her post because that's exactly what I've been doing now- keeping my circle small. I am friendly yes- but pleasing everyone, no- I am not that kind of person now. I realized there is joy in keeping only those who never left, who stood by me when I've got nothing on my wallet, who walked with me when I didn't have a car back then and so on and so forth. In short, when my circle got smaller, my perspective of genuine friendship also got clearer.
Here's why I am keeping my circle small:
Being trustworthy is important to me
I am not the kind of person who whines a lot. And if ever I do, it means I need a new pair of ears to listen to my feelings and help me validate whether they are accurate or not. I need someone to tell me whether I am right or wrong and never tolerate my wrongdoings. And when everything is said, I don't expect a friend to discuss this with other friend in detail. When I trust you- be the trustworthy person that you are not for me but for yourself.
Character is everything
You've seen this before, and for sure you have met some people who claim to be religious, who often talk about how much religion encourages them to be good to others. But guess what, a lot of times, they are the ones so quick to judge others. Who would gossip when you turn your back for a second. Who would smile in front of you but says nasty things about you instead. Who would believe what others say about you instead of checking with you to validate whether they are true or not. Who would say there is nothing wrong but there are a thousand things he feels so wrong and never had the guts to open up to you. I abhor a fake character because they never truly reveal who they really are but only time will.
More friends, more sh*t you need to deal with
Number is no big deal in comes to friendship. Over time, I realized I don't have the energy to put up with non-sense innuendos and self righteousness. By keeping my circle small, I can focus my time on genuine people, who have genuine care about me and others. I need not subject myself into countless rants about others and making everything about them. I am too old for drama. I need more positive people.
Consistency is key
Unless you're very skilled at it, faking something is hard. So is friendship. I need consistent people who would show me who they truly are from day one. Who would call for no reason other than they miss me. And I would do the same to them. I respect those who promise one thing and keep it. Those who say what they truly mean.
I am a good judge of intentions
There are some who befriend you for other reasons than being a friend. Some will use someone until they get what they want. Until they are getting benefits by maintaining that relationship, you can for sure hold on to them. But when all has gone down hill, don't expect to find them at the end of the line. There is no need to pretend to be someone you're not. Just be genuine- someone will love you for the person that you are,
Admittedly, I am not perfect and people change somehow whether for good or bad. But remember this: Those that stick with you when you didn't have anything will more likely to stay with you when you got everything.
So, love people- genuinely. Love them just because you do. And when you find it's time to let go, don't be sorry it happened. Be glad it turned out to be a good lesson in the end.
Love,
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