Dear Dad
August 02, 2013Author's Note:
It was a beautiful Sunday morning in Bangkok where I was on a holiday when I received the news that my father joined our Creator.
He was 67.
I wept and curled myself back to bed thinking when this pain would go away. I don't have the answers yet.
But like the many days of challenging times in my life, I am hopeful and praying this will cease soon.
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| With Dad just before his esophageal mass operation. |
Dear Dad,
How is it like up there? And oh, have you seen Mom already? I wonder how she looks like now.
Maybe a few wrinkles here and there but I am sure she's still awesome as before.
And how are you both? Perhaps the first day you were in heaven, she must have given you that wet, huge kiss. In my heart, I know how much she missed you (8 long years is no joke).
Dad I must tell you that I wrote about mom before and so I am writing to you this time. My memories of you are vivid from the time you took me to my very first motorcyle ride, to the many consistent trips to a burger place called Babes' which sat quietly in laidback Virac because I was always an honor student. I remember those easy weekday mornings you had to take me and my sister to your work station because you and Mom were in search for a new maid to take care of us.
I remember being your fave at one point because I looked like you. I was boyish and perhaps you hoped me to be just like you. But like many teenaged girls as they grow up, I became more focused on being a grown up that I forgot to nurture the relationship I used to have with you.
Perhaps it was the complexity of being a teenaged girl or the hormones so to speak, something I was too shy to share to you because you were a man and felt more comfortable sharing them to Mom.
But it didn't mean I loved you less.
But Dad, you must really know that I love you dearly. You are the first man I ever knew and loved. And there's no one else like you.
Now that you are in heaven to be with Mom, I feel this empty space in my being that I know will only be healed by time.
How is it like up there? And oh, have you seen Mom already? I wonder how she looks like now.
Maybe a few wrinkles here and there but I am sure she's still awesome as before.
And how are you both? Perhaps the first day you were in heaven, she must have given you that wet, huge kiss. In my heart, I know how much she missed you (8 long years is no joke).
Dad I must tell you that I wrote about mom before and so I am writing to you this time. My memories of you are vivid from the time you took me to my very first motorcyle ride, to the many consistent trips to a burger place called Babes' which sat quietly in laidback Virac because I was always an honor student. I remember those easy weekday mornings you had to take me and my sister to your work station because you and Mom were in search for a new maid to take care of us.
I remember being your fave at one point because I looked like you. I was boyish and perhaps you hoped me to be just like you. But like many teenaged girls as they grow up, I became more focused on being a grown up that I forgot to nurture the relationship I used to have with you.
Perhaps it was the complexity of being a teenaged girl or the hormones so to speak, something I was too shy to share to you because you were a man and felt more comfortable sharing them to Mom.
But it didn't mean I loved you less.
But Dad, you must really know that I love you dearly. You are the first man I ever knew and loved. And there's no one else like you.
Now that you are in heaven to be with Mom, I feel this empty space in my being that I know will only be healed by time.
Or maybe not.
I am not actually sure if it will.
But I am hopeful.
I love you Dad. I really do.
My love for you cannot compare to the men I loved before.
Well, I just thought you must know that.
Love,
Miss J
I love you Dad. I really do.
My love for you cannot compare to the men I loved before.
Well, I just thought you must know that.
Love,
Miss J
3 comments
So sorry for your loss, but I am sure he'll be happier up there, being your new angel. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Juvy. Appreciate it:)
DeleteAwww. What a heartbreaking memoir. Again, my condolences. *hugs*
ReplyDelete