When People Walk Away from Us
April 28, 2015
As I mature, I realized I no longer have the patience for
not-so-great kind of relationships or friendships. I used to stay around to prove my
loyalty up to a point of ignoring warning signs or red flags. But instead of
doing more good than harm, these relationships became toxic and untrustworthy. I
ended up feeling drained soon after.
These days, I am able to manage my expectations very well.
So excellent… that sometimes, I no longer remember what happened. Probably my
mind chose to forget instead of cultivating hatred. That is good, I think. Or is
it really that good?
But what should you do when people chose to walk away from us without any good reason? If they left us wondering what went wrong, how should we handle it?
Be cool.
Any kind of relationship is a two-way street. What the other
lacks, may be the other one’s strength. In friendships, this is also true. So
don’t raise your arm just yet. Instead, try to remember if you had been a good
friend all through out. If you were, then proceed to next step.
Talk.
This is a good opportunity to clear things out. What worked
and didn’t work. Perhaps it was something you did which offended your friend
but he wasn’t able to convey that message to you from the start. Talking
relieves tension, fixes loose ends and hopefully brings the relationship into
what it was before.
Be humble.
“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.”-
Thomas Merton
It won’t make you less of a person if only you accept
mistakes and shortcomings. By acknowledging your weaknesses, it shows your
friendship or relationship is more important than your pride. So own up, and grow up! There are
many opportunities to become stronger after that.
Pray inside your heart.
Each person is different. Some can accept flaws, others
cannot. When some people have difficulty in accepting their mistakes, no one
and nothing is right for them. They are too busy making a fool of themselves by
inflating their egos with nothing but pride. This time, you need more than what
your hands can do. Prayers are good for hopeless cases (okay, I am kidding. But
it is true.)
Accept.
When relationships cannot be rebuilt, accept that there are
people who are meant not to stay for long. That they are only in your lives for
a reason. Perhaps to teach you a good lesson. And that you can be that good
lesson for that person. Or vice versa.
Move on.
Moving on is hard, not easy. But it shall makes sense after a
while. We don’t have to live difficult lives because we refuse to let go. Letting
go relieves us with too much emotional burdens, allowing us to focus on more
important things in life.
Be thankful it happened.
Now you should know better. Smile and still be a friend to
everyone you meet. Each day is an opportunity to share a part of you that is
worth loving, accepting and fighting for.
I know I am not perfect and no one is. I guess people when they age, change behaviors be it good or bad. We change preferences which are not exactly popular in nature. In short, we change because some circumstances compelled us to. Or sometimes we just decided we want to be mean or bad (okay, this sounds extreme but could be true).
So don't be sad. Life as they say, must go on.
Just that at some point, you have to realize that some
people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.
Love,
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