When People Walk Away from Us

April 28, 2015

As I mature, I realized I no longer have the patience for not-so-great kind of relationships or friendships. I used to stay around to prove my loyalty up to a point of ignoring warning signs or red flags. But instead of doing more good than harm, these relationships became toxic and untrustworthy. I ended up feeling drained soon after.

These days, I am able to manage my expectations very well. So excellent… that sometimes, I no longer remember what happened. Probably my mind chose to forget instead of cultivating hatred. That is good, I think. Or is it really that good?

But what should you do when people chose to walk away from us without any good reason? If they left us wondering what went wrong, how should we handle it?

Be cool.
Any kind of relationship is a two-way street. What the other lacks, may be the other one’s strength. In friendships, this is also true. So don’t raise your arm just yet. Instead, try to remember if you had been a good friend all through out. If you were, then proceed to next step.

This is a good opportunity to clear things out. What worked and didn’t work. Perhaps it was something you did which offended your friend but he wasn’t able to convey that message to you from the start. Talking relieves tension, fixes loose ends and hopefully brings the relationship into what it was before.

Be humble.

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.”- Thomas Merton

It won’t make you less of a person if only you accept mistakes and shortcomings. By acknowledging your weaknesses, it shows your friendship or relationship is more important than your pride. So own up, and grow up! There are many opportunities to become stronger after that.

Pray inside your heart.
Each person is different. Some can accept flaws, others cannot. When some people have difficulty in accepting their mistakes, no one and nothing is right for them. They are too busy making a fool of themselves by inflating their egos with nothing but pride. This time, you need more than what your hands can do. Prayers are good for hopeless cases (okay, I am kidding. But it is true.)

When relationships cannot be rebuilt, accept that there are people who are meant not to stay for long. That they are only in your lives for a reason. Perhaps to teach you a good lesson. And that you can be that good lesson for that person. Or vice versa.

Move on.
Moving on is hard, not easy. But it shall makes sense after a while. We don’t have to live difficult lives because we refuse to let go. Letting go relieves us with too much emotional burdens, allowing us to focus on more important things in life.

Be thankful it happened.
Now you should know better. Smile and still be a friend to everyone you meet. Each day is an opportunity to share a part of you that is worth loving, accepting and fighting for.

I know I am not perfect and no one is. I guess people when they age, change behaviors be it good or bad. We change preferences which are not exactly popular in nature. In short, we change because some circumstances compelled us to. Or sometimes we just decided we want to be mean or bad (okay, this sounds extreme but could be true).

So don't be sad. Life as they say, must go on.

Just that at some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.


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