The 10/ 10/ 10 Rule for Tough Decisions and How it Helped Shape My Life
July 02, 2014
Grown-up problems are inevitable. They come and go. And the
complexities differ in each situation. Some are easy-peasy. Some aren’t. Today,
I am going to tell you about a rule which Suzy Welch, a business writer for
publications, designed. It’s called 10/10/10,and to use 10/10/10, we think
about our decisions on three different time frames:
·
How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now?
·
How about 10 months from now?
·
How about 10 years from now?
One example I can write now is your relationship you have with friends. Say, for some reason, you noticed that your friend changed his behaviour and no longer the same person you knew him to be. He developed habits which never existed before in your relationship and unfortunately, these behaviour baffles you and need some answers. You ask yourself: “Is it worth it to call his attention for his recent behaviour? Or just pretend nothing’s wrong?”
Imagine that you muster all courage to tell him about the
recent change in his behaviour as you
think this will address the situation. How will you feel about it 10 minutes
from now? I will probably be thankful that all this burden are finally out and
be proud of myself for taking the initiative for opening the topic.
How about 10 months from now? I don’t think I’d have much
regret either. Friends are meant to make ourselves happy through harmonious
relationship and even if there are challenges, if the friendship is real and
deep, they should stand the test of time as well as a little feedback for check
and balance. If he is gracious in accepting that something is wrong in him,
then I would assume you will still be friends after the confrontation.
How about 10 years from now? Either you are still friends or
not anymore. He probably would have other friends to care about or you on the
otherhand will be glad you have one person less amongst your friends list who
has an ego as huge as the planet Mars.
You see the 10/10/10 rule is pretty much holistic in its
approach. It lets you back off a little, and think about the consequences of
your actions. I’d like to believe that it puts us into the proper perspective.
Sometimes, we put too little effort on focusing on the
important things that we spent countless hours in figuring irrelevant things. Our
focus should be shifted on meaningful relationships even with friendships. If a
person didn’t appreciate your efforts in correcting his behaviour, then that
means his ego is more important than your friendship. It’s not easy to go to
him and explain that something’s wrong with him. So the receiving person should
instead ponder on it and evaluate if this was a valid argument or not. Not
being receptive to feedback is something dangerous. It can destroy a good relationship
that was once so beautiful.
Love,
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