The 10/ 10/ 10 Rule for Tough Decisions and How it Helped Shape My Life

July 02, 2014

Grown-up problems are inevitable. They come and go. And the complexities differ in each situation. Some are easy-peasy. Some aren’t. Today, I am going to tell you about a rule which Suzy Welch, a business writer for publications, designed. It’s called 10/10/10,and to use 10/10/10, we think about our decisions on three different time frames:

· How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now?

·         How about 10 months from now?

·         How about 10 years from now?

One example I can write now is your relationship you have with friends. Say, for some reason, you noticed that your friend changed his behaviour and no longer the same person you knew him to be. He developed habits which never existed before in your relationship and unfortunately, these behaviour baffles you and need some answers. You ask yourself: “Is it worth it to call his attention for his recent behaviour? Or just pretend nothing’s wrong?”

Imagine that you muster all courage to tell him about the recent change in his behaviour  as you think this will address the situation. How will you feel about it 10 minutes from now? I will probably be thankful that all this burden are finally out and be proud of myself for taking the initiative for opening the topic.

How about 10 months from now? I don’t think I’d have much regret either. Friends are meant to make ourselves happy through harmonious relationship and even if there are challenges, if the friendship is real and deep, they should stand the test of time as well as a little feedback for check and balance. If he is gracious in accepting that something is wrong in him, then I would assume you will still be friends after the confrontation.

How about 10 years from now? Either you are still friends or not anymore. He probably would have other friends to care about or you on the otherhand will be glad you have one person less amongst your friends list who has an ego as huge as the planet Mars.

You see the 10/10/10 rule is pretty much holistic in its approach. It lets you back off a little, and think about the consequences of your actions. I’d like to believe that it puts us into the proper perspective.

Sometimes, we put too little effort on focusing on the important things that we spent countless hours in figuring irrelevant things. Our focus should be shifted on meaningful relationships even with friendships. If a person didn’t appreciate your efforts in correcting his behaviour, then that means his ego is more important than your friendship. It’s not easy to go to him and explain that something’s wrong with him. So the receiving person should instead ponder on it and evaluate if this was a valid argument or not. Not being receptive to feedback is something dangerous. It can destroy a good relationship that was once so beautiful.


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